Spirituality in a new year

Its early 2011...there is a whole industry around the start of a new year about resolutions, new beginnings on diet, exercise and the like. The statistics around follow through to even the end of January is disappointingly low, though. However, in thinking positively about my challenges for this coming year, I am mindful  a couple of years ago I wanted to look after my health, and have managed 2 years of running every other day, which is now (mostly through gritted teeth) fun, though wasn’t at the start.... I have even scaled the heights of a half marathon with my brother in autumn last year, and another planned for March this year.

The area of my life that is most on my mind is spirituality. I lost my Dad in 2010, and its making me reflect a lot of him, his life, my loss and me as a person.

You can choose the live in the calm of the forever, morning

A friend of mine I caught up with a couple of days after New Year encapsulated things for me. She wanted to have joy, spirit, hope and love in her life in 2011, and be more mindful of the good things; to stop and appreciate life a bit more than she did last year. My Mentor also suggested to me that it would be good to identify how I am going to grow spiritually over the next year or two.

What is spirituality?

It was illuminating to take a look at how Wikipedia describes spirituality: an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of their being; or the “deepest values and meanings by which people live.” Spiritual practices, including meditation, prayer and contemplation, are intended to develop an individual's inner life; such practices often lead to an experience of connectedness with a larger reality, yielding a more comprehensive self; with other individuals or the human community; with nature or the cosmos; or with the divine realm. Spirituality is often experienced as a source of inspiration or orientation in life.

For an online quick summary, it certainly talks to me. It’s different from spiritualism, which encompasses a belief in God as a belief system. The way I personalise this to me is to differentiate it from religion, which is an organised way of believing in the supernatural, whatever manifestation that has. 
What has become clearer to me over the last few years though, is that spirituality for me is a lot about values, and a sense of purpose in life; we rush along all too quickly in life bombarded by thousands of messages, news, information, emails and don’t have time to reflect on our beliefs and values; the things are our very core.

Where does our sense of spirituality come from?

I believe we are a product both of our history and upbringing, but also a product of our development and the way we choose to either follow what we were taught, or take a different direction.

I was brought up in a (what is considered these days) comparatively large family of 5 children, in a “heavy duty” Catholic setting. Prayers every night, church every Sunday in the local town (formal dress required), the fear and wrath of God part of the package in a James Joyce type way; one of the metaphors I remember from the “Portait of an Artist as a young man” novel, was the eternal image of hell represented by a bird flying thousands of miles with a grain of sand and having to move endless mountains. Over the years, despite altar boy duties and reading to the congregation at Church struggling with the old testament names of Melchisedech and Methusala, it didnt keep a hold of me, and no longer see myself as especially religious, but rather as spiritual. Writing this, I also am able to conjure up some wistful "memory smiles", as I think of Nelly Waters (yes, her real name) being in charge of ringing the bell at the key points of the mass, but being a second or two out of synch, in a Corporal Jones kind of way; secretly smirking at the altar isnt easy...

Genealogy is fascinating here. My Grandparents on my Dad's side, from the Isle of Man, were Methodists, and my Dad raised as a Methodist. He attended Church pretty much most Sundays as an adult, and did his good deed in counting the collection money for years after the service. Latterly, he reverted to a small Methodist chapel out of the town, and deep in his soul before he died, had severe doubts about the ever after, which came to light once or twice in conversations, and as a great surprise to me, given his "life long membership" of the Methodist club. My Grandmother on my Mum's side was a gold star Catholic from Cork in Southern Ireland; church every day, the Angelus every lunchtime (a sort of midday prayer to the Virgin Mary), extensive prayers every night kind of routine. My Mum was, and is wrapped in the Catholic faith, and was the driving force in us being raised as Catholics.

Of course, there is the phrase, “once a Catholic, always a Catholic”, and its interesting that in some ways, I see the religious education as a gift (having for many years seen it as a curse). I have drifted away from the Cathloic faith since my mid twenties. I have been to many different types of services over the years, trying to capture some authentic and genuine sense of peace and community, and feel very comfortable at the Quakers services, which are mostly silent. Theses days, I would probably describe myself as a novice “lots of work in progress” Buddhist, with a belief in a universal order and a greater being.

Peace of mind is the cornerstone of spiritual life.I like the idea of Christina Baldwin, in her book the Seven whispers: “Peace of mind is a spiritual state waiting for us to find it. It has always been a possibility understood by monks and mystics, but in times like these the world needs you and me, ordinary people, to learn to step outside the ego self and find our spiritual self. To experience peace of mind, we need to expand beyond psychological clarity and learn how to comfortably experience a wider range of consciousness. This is not as difficult or mysterious as it sounds; we have been doing it spontaneously all our lives”.

So, what am I going to practically do to try and live in a spiritual way?

The practical and "self Coaching" side of me is always looking for tangible ways to apply the thoughts.....

• I am going to focus on the positives in my day; days can be tough and long sometimes, but there are usually 3 or 4 key stand out aspects of each and every day, where I feel I have done something positive, made a bit of difference, smiled and laughed joyously
  • Look to judge people less. I was brought up in a family setting that created a “white” and a “black” book about other people and the tendency is to judge too harshly and too early at times. Going a day without making judgements as Deepak Chopra suggests, maybe is possible. Its sometimes lazy thinking to assume things about people we don’t know, and come to all sorts of judgements which can be off beam

Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness.Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is...

• Carry out a random act of kindness every day. This may be to a complete stranger, a friend, or a member of the family, without expecting anything in return
  • Meditate every day for 10-15 minutes; sometimes it’s a rush as am dashing out in the morning, but I know that when I do it, my day is invariably better (see blog on Meditation). Also try and write a quick journal/diary update every few days as a reflection exercise
  • Take a few minutes out of every day to stop and just “be”; at the Retreat Centre I went to before Christmas, they play peaceful and beautiful music on the hour every hour, and people stop what they are doing and listen. Christina Baldwin talks about the “LBW” principle; every once in a while, “let go” (e.g the list making, the squabbling, the train of thoughts), the L, “be here” (listen to the senses, and step out of the immediate) the B, and “what now” (e.g. savouring the moment, listening for guidance) the W. It’s about creating a sense of mindfulness of the here and now
  • Look at crisis and crap happening as opportunity. I love the Buddhist idea of the “wisdom of uncertainty” and am trying to learn to accept that shit happens and I can’t read the future. Go to at least a couple of Retreats during the course of the year to take time out, and "cleanse" the mind

Afterthought

A few thoughts on a personal jouney. I guess ultimately the challenge I have and will continue to have, is in a busy and crowded life and a world that is getting faster all the time, is to give time and energy to reflection and stillness, whatever thoughts and approaches rise. Its still an under utlised gift.

I still think there is something of a grand design out there, and say hello to her/him/it every day, which feels important to hang on to.

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